True Blood, Vampires and…Colloidal Silver?
“Colloidal silver. In-stock and overpriced at your neighborhood health food store.”
– Pam, after spraying lead vampire character Bill in the face with colloidal silver, on HBO’s sexy vampire soap opera
True Blood, August 30, 2010
Will colloidal silver really help ward off vampires?
That’s a silly question. We all know silver keeps vampires…and
So for years now I’ve wondered why modern vampire TV shows and movies have
yet to catch up with the times and replace those stupid silver bullets with
After all, spraying the fanged nasties with an aerosol mist of colloidal
silver from a pump spray bottle opens up a whole new plot line for the good
guy characters in these modern-day sex-and-blood vampire fests.
Besides, you’ve got to admit that using colloidal silver as a weapon against
a pack of sexy vampires is a helluva lot more entertaining than firing silver
bullets from a handgun at some silly looking Transylvanian guy wearing a
dark cape and living in a musty old castle.
Is Hollywood Finally
Catching Up With the Times?
So back in 2004 I thought it was pretty darned cool when – finally! -- some
of the good guys in Wesley Snipe’s epic vampire-hunter movie, Blade
…sprayed atomized colloidal silver into the ventilation system of a vampire
den to destroy as many of the fanged bloodsuckers as possible before
entering on a search-and-destroy mission.
Now, in this week's episode of HBO’s racy vampire soap opera, True
Blood, they’ve added a touch of humor to the concept.
The main vampire character, Bill, was ruthlessly sprayed in the face with
colloidal silver by fellow vampire Pam…
…who was trying to prevent him from rescuing his telepathic human
girlfriend, Sookie, who in turn, always seems to be getting in trouble with
As she sprayed vampire Bill in the face, vampire Pam wise-cracked,
mercilessly, “Colloidal silver. In-stock and overpriced at your
neighborhood health food store.”
I thought I’d die laughing. Never in this show have such truer words been
spoken! I’d swear the show’s writers must have been
colloidal silver advertising.
Afterwards, when the vampire’s girlfriend, Sookie, asks Bill what happened
to his face, he replied, dryly,"Silver particles in water."
I can only hope it was
Micro-Particle Colloidal Silver…
…after all, it’s
cheaper than the store-bought stuff…
users agree it’s ten times better!
Ya’ gotta love it, folks. The truth is finally coming out. After years of
working to bring colloidal silver to the attention of the American public,
it is finally going mainstream.
Although, if you’d have told me
ten years ago that it would take a bunch of actors pretending to be vampires
to bring colloidal silver to the collective conscience of the American
public, I’d have probably laughed you out of the room!
But Does Colloidal Silver Have Bureaucratic Approval for Use Against
Let’s get serious for a moment, folks.
In real life, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) would
colloidal silver for use against vampires.
After all, if the FDA found out people were using colloidal silver to keep
the vampires at bay, they’d immediately have no choice but to carry out
their long-time threat to ban its use.
Why? Because the FDA is nothing more than the enforcement arm of Big Pharma.
And collectively, Big Pharma has got to be the greatest pack of
blood-sucking vampires on the face of the earth.
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is another federal government
bureaucracy that most definitely
would never approve colloidal silver for use against vampires.
After all, vampires are part of the environment. And we can’t do
anything with colloidal silver that might potentially harm some part of
the environment, right?
Just ask any
radical environmentalist bloodsucking huckster on the
payroll of Big Pharma.
Okay. I’m having great fun with all of this.
And I hope I don’t need to tell you this post is merely satire.
(Or is it?)
But just in case, and for maximum protection, make sure you keep a pump
spray bottle full of colloidal silver next to your bed stand at night --
right next to your handgun and your silver bullets.
It’ll definitely keep the “vampires” away – particularly the
fungal vampires that truly can suck the lifeblood from anyone they sink
their pointed little fangs into…
…IF you don’t take care of them
effectively with colloidal silver, of course!